HMD post

Sep. 28th, 2037 11:09 am
onisensei: (Default)
How's My Driving?

I do appreciate opinions and criticism from those who actually care enough to offer them.
Please feel free to offer up any thoughts you have on my portrayal.
Anonymous comments are on though I encourage anyone with an opinion to say it openly. I like to think of myself as easy going and relaxed.
Thank you for taking the time to comment, I will give each and every comment attention.
onisensei: (Scrunched up face)
Alright settle down punks, we've got a new student so shut up and let me introduce her.

[Sound of door sliding open and a Chalk filled eraser falls onto Miria's head]

...come on guys really? This girl is an agent of DATS and THAT'S the best you got? Hey Miria why don't you show these guys a little muscle?

[Some rustling and then stunned silence]

Damn right! Oh and Gabumon? Go ahead and sit in that desk to your left, Miria will be sitting in the one that you didn't put a sponge on.

Ah ah ah! I didn't say you could take the sponge off. Sit!

Alright Miria, introduce yourself, we've got plenty of time.

Uh... Hello, my name is HSAT Miria. I'm a Highly Sophisticated Aerobot Transformer built by the Guardian Of Earth Project, and I'm currently operating as part of DATS. I'm hoping to learn a lot here at the Holy Forest Academy."

[Some Digimon coughs "nerd!" And some laughter bursts out in scatters.]

Alright alright cram it!
onisensei: (Grinning goof)
Hey Greggo!

I got you a gift!

[Attached: Picture of a giant inflated purple zombie shaped balloon on the roof of the Hyperion, it looks like Onizuka stole it from a car dealership or something]

You like dead bodies right?
onisensei: (Perv Smile)
See, I told you *Pant* that's exactly what you needed, *Snicker* "Stress relief"

Mmm... I like this stress relief.

Me too~ Now, use the judges score cards, 1 means "Were you even awake" Ten means "Mind blown!" upsidedown and crooked ten means "I'm too exhausted and dazed with sexy sexness to use this right.

[Pause, cards shuffle]

Sideways eight? What's that mean?

Infinity, Mister Teacher. It means don't stop!

Mmmm~ Going down for round three then <3 <3 <3

[audio]

Feb. 14th, 2011 08:23 am
onisensei: (Perv Smile)
[Onizuka's class can be heard complaining loudly in the backround, they don't appreciate being forced to be his screaming audience but there he is, just as Rabu'd as ever]

Baby, I know I haven't been the best catch for you. Let's face it you could have done better.

Damn right!

With tits like hers? You kidding?

Yeah come on Miss Haku, dump the zero get with a hero!

SHUT THE HELL UP!

*Ahem* Anyway...this one's for you!



[Attached: A romantic candlelit dinner for two, a coupon for a motorcycle ride under the stars along the shore, and somehow...a lifesized chocolate statue of Onizuka...in a speedo.]
onisensei: (Ultimate evil)
I will give my collection of mint Sailor Lunamon Action figures to the first person to provide me information on the whereabouts of this cat!

[First he holds up a picture of Jake then he pans to the figures which are very nice and a collectors dream]

Whatever he did last night messed up my wife. I'm gonna find him, and he's gonna have a little talk with my lawyer.

[Camera back on him clutching his fist till it turns white]

Meet my Lawyer, Mister Fister.
onisensei: (Scream)
I-I'm freaking out here man! Totally losing it!

Oh for Yggdrasil's sake what's wrong now?

I'm getting married man...MARRIED! Like...FOREVER!

...you do realize this is the second time you've been about to get married right?

YEAH! And look what happened last time!

So what's the big deal.

You'll never understand till you're right there man, with that huge commitment, t-the promises the vows! This is our lives man! And there's a kid now too! I mean...God! When did this all happen?!

...for the last few years?

GAAAAAAAAH! I need a drink! Beer me!

*Sound of a beer cracking*

I can do this...I can do this....the girls need me...I can do it!

Yeah, you totally aren't gonna die or anything.

...MORE BEER!
onisensei: (Thumbs up I'm awesome)
[Oh hey look it's Onizuka in his classroom]

Alright brats we have a special guest today, my daughter.

[There's a gasp of shock and some whispering]

Shut up! You're gonna treat her like the goddess she and her mother are.

[Confused protests]

Anything she wants you monkeys provide. I brought her with me because she wants to see what daddy does for a living.

[And now e lifts her up over the desk like in "The Lion King" and Goblimon pushes the button on a boom box to start the theme song]

Bow down before the single most adorable tamer that ever was! BOW I SAY!
onisensei: (Goblimon)
Alright men! The time is upon us!

This Friday at Caritas we're hosting a bachelor party as a send off to Onizuka who in a couple of weeks will fall from our noble ranks and get married to a woman who is deserves more then him.

...that was a joke. Don't let Haku hear I said that.

Anyway, we're gonna be getting plastered and having a good time so get your asses down there. Gifts are welcome, gag gifts are hilarious. There is a two drink minimum because the booze is paid for so live it up!

So who's in? I need to know so I can order food.
onisensei: (Thumbs up I'm awesome)
[Sound of the roaring engine of Onizuka's new and improved Z2000 Motor cycle as he goes racing through the streets of Neon with Haku after getting it]

BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!!!
onisensei: (Angry bandanna)

HEY! HEY EVERYONE I NEED SOME HELP HERE!

SOME BASTARDS STOLE MY MOTORCYCLE!!!

[Attached: Picture]

I WANT SECURITY TAPES, I WANT PEOPLE ON THE STREETS LOOKING! WHEN I FIND THE ASSHOLES WHO TOOK MY BIKE I'M GONNA TIE EM UP AND DRAG THEM AROUND NEON ALL FREAKING NIGHT!

This is NOT the way I wanted to spend my birthday!

[Audio]

Jul. 18th, 2010 08:01 am
onisensei: (Cronic nosebleeds)
Anyone got any tissues?

Fast would be better then slow!
onisensei: (Pensive)
Hey...

Anyone out there had any dealings with a gang of Feline Digimon calling itself "Bloodclan"?

[Audio]

Jun. 1st, 2010 09:13 am
onisensei: (Default)
Yo,

How many bikers we got in the Digital World?

And by Bikers I mean you can ride a motorcycle and own one currently.
onisensei: (Default)
[The sound of Onizuka pouncing on Greg and putting him in a headlock]

Smell me!

NO!
*FLAIL*

*vice grip*
No seriously dude smell my new deoderant!

Eikichi, please don't torment niichan


... is that the new Old Spice?


*groan*
Boys...

It is! It's called Denali!

DUDE! I gotta get me some of that!


...
*FACEPALM*
onisensei: (Thumbs up I'm awesome)
Onizuka...is that you man?

YES IT'S ME! I'VE BEEN SCREAMING AT YOU FOR TEN MINUTES!!!


What happened?! You're all...fun sized.


HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW? I JUST TOOK A SHOWER AND NOW I'M AN INCH HIGH HERO OF JUSTICE!!!

You've got class today...


MAKE SARASIM GO, THE STUDENTS ARE SCARED OF HER.

Well...at least Haku's Data frozen so she can't flail over this.


...TAKE ME TO HAKU.


But why?


AT THIS SIZE? HER BOOBS ARE GONNA BE LIKE MOUNTAINS!!!!!


Tiny little man, huge labido.
onisensei: (Durrrr)


I LOVE BEING IRISH!

You're Japanese!

SHUT UP!
onisensei: (Serious face smoke)
Hey,

Haku and I are in Tetha right now, Hinata Inn. My old room was open so we're staying here till she's better.

She's not talking but she's not totally broken, I figure she just needs to get away from it all for a few days.

How's everyone back home?

Do me a favor, I need a couple changes of clothes for her-

And you.

I don't need to change these pants are still good.

You've been wearing them for a week!

What's your point?

*Groan*

Anyway...and tell Sarasim she's subbing or me till I get back.

wait Sarasim?

Why not? Pretty girl with a big sword. She oughta know how to make the little monsters behave.

...your logic gives me a headache.
onisensei: (my family)
Wow.

You OK sensei?

Yeah...it's just look at that. What do you see?

Um...food...the vocaloids, some of the residents...I think I see Gomamon about to prank someone...hey who's that Lunamon with the doll?

You're missing the point.

There was a point?

Look it's all that and more. Where were we a year ago?

Um...eating at the Hinata Inn...lamenting the loss of your bike after that kid stole it.

No job, no students, no family and we only really had a couple of friends.

And now...

Well just look at it all. Listen to it smell it. This world sucks sometimes...but it's been good to us.

Real good, here comes Haku.

See what I mean?

You've been drinking haven't you?

Lil bit.
onisensei: (Perv Smile)
Oh Hakuuuuu~

A little birdy told me today was a very special day for you today, so how about you and I hit the town tonight? Dinner anywhere you want, movies, the arcade, movies, long romantic motorcycle ride by the moonlight~

Sound like fun?

[He only sent this over the comm because he doesn't know where she is, but he's got a surprise when he finds her]

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onisensei: (Default)
Eikichi Onizuka

November 2011

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